This evening I find myself in a rather annoyed mood for no reason. I wasn't really sure what was going on and then I remembered: I'm starting Whole30 tomorrow. I think my subconscious is freaking out about not having sugar every few hours of every day. It blows my mind how reliant I am on sugar.
I had never even heard of Whole30 until Thursday, when Katie mentioned it on her Facebook. I looked into it and thought it might be worth a try. I like how it focuses on improving health including psychological health. My relationship with food is so distorted and unhealthy, and I don't think anyone understands how bad it is. I really need to go back to therapy, but I don't want to pay the co-pay every week. My life is out of control in every area, and I'm hoping Whole30 will help me in the health and weight loss arenas. My goals are to change the way I look at and think about food, become healthier, and hopefully lose weight! I don't want food to dominate my every thought. When I was put on depression medication a few years ago, I felt great and didn't think about food constantly, but that only lasted for a few months. Since moving away from home last year, the downward spiral has continued. Failed diets and more binging than ever before are what my life consists of. Maybe if I had something else to think about I wouldn't think about food constantly. I even have high cholesterol, and lately my heart has been pounding at random times for no reason at all which really scares me since my grandma has had a million heart attacks and she's young.
The withdrawal symptoms are going to be horrible, and I know I'm going to probably cry, throw a fit or two, feel even more tired than usual, and just be plain grouchy. That's when I'll be needing the most support!
Speaking of support, thank God for Katie! If it wasn't for her there's no way I could even begin to think that I could succeed at this. I know I can call/text/FaceTime/whatever her when I'm having a super bad craving. We have been texting nonstop about our meal prep and I know we will be able to make it together. Even with her living states away, we'll be fine. I'm definitely not afraid to be honest with her!
I'm not worried at all about the food on the program. I love healthy food! I just seem to like sugar better, sadly! My dad is the same way, and his dad, and his mom was...Definitely an unfortunate family addiction! I'm already buying some "weird" foods that I've never heard of until reading the book! Today I went to Whole Foods (for the first time!) and bought ghee and coconut aminos!
I should be excited to try new recipes but I'm really not too thrilled. I don't really ever want to do anything except watch TV and sleep, so the meal prep will take some extra motivation. I'm hoping at the end of this I will be happier, healthier, have more energy, and feel great.
This is quite a random blog post, but my thoughts are bouncing all over tonight! I'm going to write every day, even if it's just one sentence, to help keep myself accountable and to get some assistance from others if needed.
Here goes nothing!
No comments:
Post a Comment