Days 4-6

Day 4

Wow have I been having weird dreams! Very vivid, totally crazy, and lots of dreams about eating bad food! 

One awesome thing I've noticed is that my heart pounding/racing less! For the past few months, my heart will just POUND for no reason. Two times I was at the dr and they checked my heart rate and were concerned. Once I was sitting on my balcony for about 20 mins when I noticed my heart pounding. I checked my heart rate and it was 108.

I do notice I have more energy later at night when I should be winding down for bedtime. We will see if his lasts or not!

Day 5

Still feeling fine. I didn't eat enough at lunch and by the end of my work day I had the beginnings of a bad headache. It got worse and worse even after eating and finally started getting better after 3 ibuprofen and 1 ibuprofen PM! 

Before leaving Lansing for my 2.5 hr drive to my parents house, I stopped at Horrock's for some kombucha. I tried to open it in the car and it fizzed all over! I quickly closed the lid and cleaned up. Thank God for the Lysol wipes I always have handy! I let the kombucha slowly fizz for at least a half hour, slowly loosening the cap every once in a while. Finally I had enough and just opened it with a napkin and slurped up the fizzy bubbles haha! I'm not really sure what the big attraction is; it tastes exactly like...maybe a sparkling wine or something. It's definitely not thirst quenching! I don't like alcohol and don't want to acquire a taste for it, so I think I'll b staying away from the kombucha! 

Day 6

I'm at my parents' house and it's not TOO bad because they are doing Atkins, along with one of my brothers. It was a little sad when my youngest brother came into the room eating a big bowl of ice cream and I couldn't even have a taste! Mom and Dad have a nice grill so I grilled some chicken tenderloins and they were delish! I brought all of my food for the weekend so I'm prepared! 

I need to cut back on the Larabars. They have quite a few calories and eat too many! 

 

Tomorrow we are going to Lake Michigan so I'm going to pack lots of fruit and boiled eggs and such. It shouldn't be too difficult, but we always snack on the beach so that will be a tough habit to get through. 

It's odd to me that I'm not experiencing horrible detox. Maybe it will take longer than a week to get all of the junk I was eating out of my system! 

Have a great weekend everyone!

 

Day 3

Today was day 3 of Whole30. There really wasn't much going on today, except Katie told me we can have almond butter. That was exciting! I found some at Horrock's, Lansing's best store! When I heard about Whole30, I decided to do it within 72 hours so I read the book in a whirlwind and must've retained only the important parts. Larabars and almond butter will definitely make this program much more doable I think! I just have to make sure I don't abuse them and use them for cravings.

No more fatigue than normal today and I didn't take a nap. Bring on day 4!

 

Day 2

I was pretty grouchy this morning but I don't think anything to do with my food. If one more person mentioned my sunburn, I was going to blow! As if I didn't know I'm red as a lobster, geewhiz! I felt yucky and soon as I woke up, but I think it's because I took ibuprofen p.m. last night before bed. I enjoyed a huge salad at lunch, but the aftertaste from the homemade ranch was horrible! I miss gum! 

One of our patients gave us a huge box of Russell Stover candy. It was quite tempting, especially with the garlic/onion/ranch aftertaste. But I did great!

Later in the day, Katie informed me that Larabars are acceptable so I went and grabbed some of those. This link was helpful and choosing the Whole30 approved flavors. I think they will be a lifesaver for me on this program!

 I wasn't hungry for dinner at all. I fell asleep on my couch at seven which is pretty normal for me, unfortunately. Going to try to sleep now for the rest of the night, but I'll probably have to take some melatonin. Hoping I'll have some better sleep patterns by the end of this!

 

Day 1

So today has been pretty good, so far. 

The main thing I missed is gum! We always have a greeting time at church and Mom always made us have gum so we have fresh breath when saying hi and shaking hands with everyone. It was hard not grabbing some out of my Bible bag! 

After church I fried a couple of eggs in ghee (yes, ghee!) and used coconut aminos instead of ketchup on them. It was good!!! I had never even heard of ghee or coconut aminos until a couple of days ago. 

 

It's kind of frowned upon on Whole30, but I've been doing some snacking on cherries because I legit felt hungry. Right now I have a slight headache, which could be from lack of bad foods or waiting a bit too long to eat because I was prepping!

After enjoying some sun and pool time, I made ranch dressing that's Whole30 approved, and it's pretty good. I used the recipe from this blog. Not only did I make ranch, but I boiled eggs, baked a sweet potato, AND made my lunch for tomorrow. That's a big deal for me since I usually just wing it. 

On to day 2!

 

 

T Minus One Day

This evening I find myself in a rather annoyed mood for no reason. I wasn't really sure what was going on and then I remembered: I'm starting Whole30 tomorrow. I think my subconscious is freaking out about not having sugar every few hours of every day. It blows my mind how reliant I am on sugar. 

I had never even heard of Whole30 until Thursday, when Katie mentioned it on her Facebook. I looked into it and thought it might be worth a try. I like how it focuses on improving health including psychological health. My relationship with food is so distorted and unhealthy, and I don't think anyone understands how bad it is. I really need to go back to therapy, but I don't want to pay the co-pay every week. My life is out of control in every area, and I'm hoping Whole30 will help me in the health and weight loss arenas. My goals are to change the way I look at and think about food, become healthier, and hopefully lose weight! I don't want food to dominate my every thought. When I was put on depression medication a few years ago, I felt great and didn't think about food constantly, but that only lasted for a few months. Since moving away from home last year, the downward spiral has continued. Failed diets and more binging than ever before are what my life consists of. Maybe if I had something else to think about I wouldn't think about food constantly.  I even have high cholesterol, and lately my heart has been pounding at random times for no reason at all which really scares me since my grandma has had a million heart attacks and she's young. 

The withdrawal symptoms are going to be horrible, and I know I'm going to probably cry, throw a fit or two, feel even more tired than usual, and just be plain grouchy. That's when I'll be needing the most support! 

Speaking of support, thank God for Katie! If it wasn't for her there's no way I could even begin to think that I could succeed at this. I know I can call/text/FaceTime/whatever her when I'm having a super bad craving. We have been texting nonstop about our meal prep and I know we will be able to make it together. Even with her living states away, we'll be fine. I'm definitely not afraid to be honest with her!

I'm not worried at all about the food on the program. I love healthy food! I just seem to like sugar better, sadly! My dad is the same way, and his dad, and his mom was...Definitely an unfortunate family addiction! I'm already buying some "weird" foods that I've never heard of until reading the book! Today I went to Whole Foods (for the first time!) and bought ghee and coconut aminos! 

I should be excited to try new recipes but I'm really not too thrilled. I don't really ever want to do anything except watch TV and sleep, so the meal prep will take some extra motivation. I'm hoping at the end of this I will be happier, healthier, have more energy, and feel great. 

This is quite a random blog post, but my thoughts are bouncing all over tonight! I'm going to write every day, even if it's just one sentence, to help keep myself accountable and to get some assistance from others if needed. 

Here goes nothing!

9/11

This started as a Facebook post, but ended up being too long, I decided. Now it's a blog! :)

As a 7th grader, I didn't know what a "terrorist" was, and I had no idea what the World Trade Center was. When Mrs. Schaaf came in and told Mrs. LaFreniere to turn on the news, I remember thinking "Big deal, a plane accidentally hit a tall building..."  Sadly that wasn't the case. Throughout the day we began to understand the seriousness of the situation, but as a 12 year old child, I just didn't grasp what had happened and how it affected my fellow Americans. I remember Mr. LaFreniere stomping around & threatening to join the Army if only he were younger. Later that day, our teachers all gathered us in one room to explain what had happened and what it meant for our country. I remember feverishly scribbling notes and quotes from my teachers into a notebook (which I would LOVE to find) because I had a feeling 9/11/01 was going to be a big day for America. 

It wasn't until my senior trip that I understood the magnitude of 9/11. We took the subway to the World Trade Center stop and walked right out to what was left of the WTC. I remember looking out at the massive holes filled with construction equipment, wreckage, and dirt at Ground Zero thinking "This still isn't cleaned up? It's 2007!" I turned around and walked to a wall that had drawings done by children. I soon realized these were by children who had lost their parents or family members. I started reading them and broke down in tears. My friend Brad was nearby, and held me while we both cried. It was that moment that we finally "got" it. I then had to sit down, and I called Grandma Seger, who was at work at the time, and described my surroundings. 

We then went outside, and there was a timeline set up of the events of the day. There was also a display with the names of those killed. I remember filming it with my camera and it took something like 15 seconds of filming to get all of the names in the video. That was another eye opener. There were quotes, photos, and videos on the display right there on the sidewalk, with Ground Zero in the background. The photo that haunts me to this day is of a black man saluting with tears running down his face. 

When I returned to Ground Zero in 2013, it was a totally different experience. Hannah and I were visiting the city, and wanted to see the new memorial. We paid for admission, went trough security, passed through stores of 9/11 merchandise, and finally made it to the memorial pools. There were pamphlets in every language on display, and people everywhere. When we walked up to the memorial waterfall pools we were amazed at how HUGE they were. And the names...so many names of those who died. 

The One World Trade Center was nearly finished, and it was so tall I couldn't get the whole building in one photo. The museum was not yet open at this time. 

I am grateful for my experience in 2007, as it helped me to better understand the momentous event that was 9/11. I hope to return to Ground Zero again someday to see the museum and the finished One World Trade Center. 

14 years later, I continue to pray for those who lost family members, our president, military, and my fellow Americans. I pray that we will come back the only One who can save us: Jesus Christ! May God bless America!

Small Town Life

Small town life

Some people hate it.  Most people live their lives trying to get out of it. 

I don't see what's so wrong with it. 

Sure, people may get a little catty and gossip a lot. It's just like any family, and we usually get over it. Nobody can get away with anything in our small town because we all know each other. (That's always been fun for me; I enjoy it when people know who I am just by seeing the resemblance to my parents or grandparents!) When we call the credit union or bank, we don't need to give our last name because 99% of the time we know the person on the phone. Our pharmacist makes deliveries. Our locally owned store and restaurants let people keep tabs because they know we'll be back to pay it soon. We are related to most people, and if we're not, we know people who are. We literally have mutual friends with everyone in town, and probably the county! We can't escape a trip to the gas station without seeing the face of someone we know. We make the front page of the paper or  the 6:00 news for the most trivial of accomplishments. Whether we want to be or not, we are deeply invested in small town life.

I've spent my entire adult life being made fun of for loving Manton, which hurts my feelings, but I'm not afraid to say that I'm proud of my hometown. I'm proud of the PEOPLE in my hometown. With two deaths in the Manton community in the last 36 hours, so much has already been done to help those suffering. This isn't anything new. This is the way it's always been. When there's a tragedy, friends and neighbors, even acquaintances and strangers will go out of their way to help in any way possible. When there's a cancer diagnosis, an accident, an unexpected death, we pull together and help. Not only in the bad times, but the good as well. We celebrate and have fun together, too. What a blessing that is!

No longer do I live in Manton. Now I live in a place with the number of people residing in the city limits being equal to those in my entire home COUNTY.  I don't even try to explain the close bond Mantonites share. My coworker said "Wow, you have a lot of deaths in your hometown," and I had to think about that. It may seem that way, but the reality of it is that because we are such a small community, every death seems more personal. Every tragedy impacts all of us. Each misfortune feels like it's happening to our immediate family. 

We ARE a family. Never will you meet a band of people who will fight for you like those from a small town. Especially those from a small town in Northern Michigan. It's comforting to know there are 1,300+ people who will always have my back, and I can guarantee I'll always have theirs.

I love you, Manton, and let's stay Manton Strong!

***More specifically: Let's lift the Stanley family up in prayer, and support them in any way possible. Also please pray for the Weaver family, as Red passed away today. Two firefighters who served our community are now serving the Lord in Heaven.

For information on how you can help the Stanleys, see the story on 9&10 News' website: http://www.9and10news.com/story/28825420/manton-man-remembered-after-unexpected-death#

   

I leave you with some verses I found that apply to our situation.

"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." -Revelation 21:4

"And the people asked him, saying, What shall we do then? He answereth and saith unto them, He that hath two coats, let him impart to him that hath none; and he that hath meat, let him do likewise." -Luke 3:10-11