In "Hymn" We Trust

        Tonight my church had a "hymn sing," which I had never heard of or been a part of. Over 60 people from multiple churches came together to make one big choir, and members of the community and of each church filled the pews. As the entire congregation joined the choir to sing "Saved, Saved!" I got goosebumps as the first chorus ended. I marveled in the awesomness that is God, the Creator. What an amazing thing to hear so many of His people in one place lifting our voices to Him in praise.

"I bet this is kind of what Heaven will be like," I thought to myself. 

Multiple people gave special music, and two different families sang accapella with their 5 children! I would LOVE to do that someday but I don't think I'm that musically inclined. I was inspired to take piano lessons again. I wonder if there's a piano teacher who can teach older re-learners like me? It would be worth checking into I think! I still don't know what my passion is and how I can use it to help others, but I think music (or more specifically, the piano) is high on the list. 

During the service, the most adorable baby woke up and was looking around and smiling at people. I got a lump in my throat wondering when it will be MY turn to have a beautiful baby like that. When will it be MY turn to sing to my children and teach them the great hymns of the faith? Trying to not be selfish, I put the thoughts aside and continued to enjoy the music.

The last song the huge choir sang was "It Is Well With My Soul". This song has a history with me and my church family back home, and I couldn't hold the tears back. Even though this song triggers memories of a horrible day, if I think about the lyrics in the verses in a different sense, they are just so powerful!  "My sin, not in part, but the whole is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more. Praise the Lord, PRAISE THE LORD, oh my soul....Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight. The clouds be rolled back as a scroll. The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend. Even so, it is well with my soul!"

It was a joyful evening spent with a room full of strangers, but all with a common love for Christ. I wish this is how every day ended!

Wasteland

"All these people I meet/they seem like they're fine/In some way I hope they're not/and their hearts are like mine" -NEEDTOBREATHE

Do you ever hear a song and think "YES!"? When I first heard the song "Wasteland" by NEEDTOBREATHE, I felt like Bear was singing words directly out of my head. When I wrote the blog revealing my depression diagnosis, I didn't expect to find that I had issues in common with so many others. I didn't know some people felt or thought like me. I even met someone who had Binge Eating Disorder and had to go to inpatient rehab for it! It blows my mind the people that keep mental health issues quiet. Though I have had mainly positive feedback, I can tell there are some who think I made it up or that it's something I can just fix by exercising more or getting closer to God. I wholeheartedly believe I was born with it. There is a home video of me at age 3 and I was pouting. Mom said "Are you sad?" and I said yes. She asked why and I said "I don't know" What 3 year old does that? It's comforting to know that there are others who have been where I am/was, and they have hearts like mine.

"If God is on my side, who can be against me?/In this wasteland where I'm living/there is a crack in the door filled with light/and it's all that I need to get by/In this wasteland where I'm living/there is a crack in the door filled with light/and it's all that I need to SHINE"-NEEDTOBREATHE

What an inspiring bunch of lyrics! Even when life and its circumstances seem so dark, with God there is ALWAYS that sliver of hope to hold onto. I will never understand how people go through life without God. What do they have to look forward to? Who do they turn to when something bad happens? I am glad I will never have to face those questions myself, I know Who I can turn to and Who will rescue (and has rescued!) me from the dark. As soon as I heard this song, i was just in love. I feel like I could make a sermon based on it, haha! 

NTB's new album comes out in April and I am beyond ready for it! Whenever they come out with something new, it is just incredible, and always even better than their last release. Silas and I have seen them about a dozen times, and nothing compares to their live shows. They are some talented dudes! Oh, and they love Jesus, so that's a plus. They aren't really labeled a "Christian band" though, which is cool with me. There are so many Christian acts out there that are not talented, I'm sad to say. That's why I never listened to the Christian radio stations until a few years ago. The Christian music industry is so watered down with artists who are not gifted singers, or who try way too hard to sound "mainstream" and end up just sounding ridiculous. Music is one of my favorite things in the world, so I may be a little extra critical, but hey, I know talent when I hear it. I should've been in the music industry, so many bands I saw in high school and college blew up! (Plain White T's, fun., Bowling for Soup, All Time Low, Fall Out Boy, Panic! At the Disco...) ANYWAY I love how NTB is super talented, rock and roll, but their songs are so much more than soaring vocals and solid guitar solos. Most of their songs people don't even know are Christ-centered. Which I think can be a good thing, because it draws in a different crowd. I have been a Christian for almost 20 years, and I was hesitant about Christian music because so much of it is laughable. These guys changed that for me! Y'all should go YouTube the song "Wasteland" because it's great. April 15th cannot come fast enough! I was actually contemplating taking the day off work so I could listen to the album all day....Now that is love!

I hope you all find that crack of light that is Jesus Christ and allow yourself to SHINE for him! God bless!

-Nellie